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Author Topic: Junkers 87 B-2/R-2  (Read 3268 times)
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TheLurker
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« on: September 02, 2019, 03:21:29 PM »

Ladies and Gentlemen, Girls and Boys,

In a spirit of friendly competition (and in order to extract a little revenge, appendix (a)) the Board of Testwood Towers Operational Research (TTOR) has issued a challenge to the Board of The Lurker Industries Aviation Co. Ltd.

The challenge is to build a "kit scale" model of a WWII combat aeroplane whilst accruing as many penalty points as possible.  Only penalties incurred in an attempt to make the model more like the prototype will be counted.

The challenge having been made and accepted in April of this year, some effort has gone into formalising the rules of engagement which are set out below.

Rules of Engagement
The reference plan/kit will be the Keil Kraft Junior Series Ju-87 (B2) kit first produced in March 1958, a version of which is now being sold by the Vintage Model Co. of Bakewell, Derbys.

The appointed adjudicator is His Honour Baron Jack Plane.  Not only is this gentleman an highly esteemed member of the Judiciary and the German nobility he is also the Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Oxon Flugzeugwerke (Westen) GmbH and is reckoned one of the finest judges of aerial machinery currently practicing (That's more than enough crawling. Ed.)

Forfeits & Prizes
Should 15 or fewer penalty points be accrued and, or the model fail to fly for a minimum of 12s from a hand launch the Chairman of the Board of The Lurker Industries Aviation will be obliged to eat a serving of, "Smashed Avocado on Toast" appendix (b).

Should a qualifying flight time be achieved and 16 or more point penalty points also be amassed, the Chairman of the Board of The Lurker Industries Aviation will be provided with either a Black Pudding sandwich made with bread from a Plain, not Pan, loaf (appendix (c)) and butter, quite definitely not margarine, or a serving of Spam Fritter with two slices of fried bread, appendix (d).

The Chairman of the Board of TTOR may choose to award a prize additional to either of the alternatives listed should he feel that the completed model has surpassed the minimum level of acceptability by a significant margin.  Such largesse is entirely at his discretion, appendix (e).

The cost of any forfeit or prize is to be borne by Testwood Towers Operational Research.

In summary

1 - The object of the exercise is that the competitor should build a model to the Indoor Kit Scale rules whilst accumulating the maximum possible number of penalty points.

2- The only points awarded will be penalty points.

3 - Penalty points will be awarded according to the current kit scale rules, subject to rules No. 4 and No. 5

4 - If the judge considers that a particular change is detrimental to the overall character of the model, no points will be awarded for that change.

5- If the model is airbrushed, 5 penalty points will be deducted for gratuitous rule bending.

6 - The model must achieve a minimum flight time of 12s from a hand launch in the presence of an independent witness or witnesses.  If it fails to do this the forfeit must be accepted.

6.1 - Filmed evidence will be accepted as an initial proof, but it must be confirmed by flight trials in the presence of witnesses at some agreed date.

7 - Prizes will be awarded on a sliding scale, with 15 penalty points or fewer requiring the competitor to eat something that he really doesn't like, improving on a sliding scale with a more penalty points (appendix (e)).

Appendix (a) – The Revenge
Members of the parish may be aware that The Chairman of the Board of TTOR is not very good at all at not "improving" kits.  Members of the parish may also recall that the Chairman of TTOR was challenged by the entire staff of The Lurker Industries Aviation Co. Ltd. to build a kit "Straight from the Box" they being well aware of the The Chairman of TTOR's congenital inability to let well enough alone.

Abl's Stinson Build

The Chairman of TTOR, being fully cognizant of Lurker Industries Aviation's reputation throughout the industry for its distinctly unadventurous approach to aircraft design and construction, feels that it is now time that some of the pain his organisation endured should be visited upon his erstwhile tormentors by forcing said tormentors to be adventurous.

Appendix (b) – On The Awfulness of Avocado
If human beings were intended to eat sloppy green goo tasting of not very much at all we would not have been given teeth or taste-buds.  Dreadful, dreadful stuff.  An abomination.  Readers are referred to the attached picture of Green Goo on Toast.

https://cookieandkate.com/images/2012/04/avocado-toast-recipe-3-550x824.jpg

Observant readers will note the larding of the green goo in the picture above with lots of something, anything, to give it some sort of flavour or at least make it just about palatable.

Appendix (c) – Black Pudding & Plain Loaves
Black Pudding.  Proof comestible that all that is porcine may be used but the squeak.  When combined with salt butter and plain bread as well as a cup of Greek or other strong black coffee it is positively ambrosial.  A black pudding supper isn't all that far behind either.

Despite the risk of offending Hebrideans, Lancastrians and possibly the Germans the Chairman of Lurker Industries Aviation Ltd has stated, publicly and repeatedly, that the best Black Pudding he has ever eaten was purchased from a delicatessen in Dignes-le-Bains. However being French they called it by some daft foreign name, "Boudin noir" or some such.

Ambrosia
Staff of Life

Appendix (d) – Spam Fritters
How can it be said that British food is terrible when such towering culinary masterpieces as the Spam Fritter can be had from even the meanest and most humble of catering establishments throughout the land?  It will be a very, very sad day indeed when we see the last of Spam Fritters.

Link for spam fritter
Making me hungry already...
Vital Information

It is pleasing to note that Hawaiians amongst others also recognise Spam as one of life's pleasures.


Appendix (e) -  Rule No. 7 addendum and comment on prizes.
The Chairman of the Board of Directors of Testwood Towers Operational Research writes,  "In other words, Lurk can change what he likes as long as it's making the model look more like the real thing; rule No. 4 is there to discourage the making of gratuitous changes (non-scale lengthening of the nose) that are only done to gain penalty points, rule No. 5 is there for a similar reason and if he does a really good job (or I'm feeling sorry for the poor old fellow) then the prize would be a fry-up at either the establishment of the contestant's choice, or the Super Sausage cafe, Towcester.
Junkers 87 B-2/R-2
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TheLurker
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« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2019, 03:33:29 PM »

Slightly more seriously, but not much...

This isn't going to be a fast build, too much other stuff going on, so I expect it'll be December before the build is finished and if previous autumn builds are any guide it'll be April of next year before any attempt is made at a maiden flight.

The intended scheme is an R-2 in Italian service that was captured by the RAF.  I stumbled over this scheme when looking for something suitable and by happy chance Airfix have used it for their B2/R2 kit so I have good colour references.

Something that amused me, that I found when digging around, was that McHard's Ju87D plan was published in Sept. 1957 and Keil Kraft's B2 appeared in March of 1958.  I rather like the idea of Keil Kraft letting AM do the leg-work of market research and then pushing out a kit knowing there'll be a demand for it. I doubt it was like that at all, but the possibility that it was tickles me.

So settle down in a comfy chair, grab some snacks, pour yourself a drink and sit back and watch me make a horlicks of it in slow time. Smiley

Lurk.
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Jack Plane
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« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2019, 04:03:02 PM »

Well Lurk, for this one I've already had to pour myself a stiff single malt!

  Grin
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abl
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« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2019, 04:12:44 PM »

The fact that it's taken this long and then you've done such a comprehensive job on the initial post (and have already chosen the colour scheme) is of some concern to me; it's looking suspiciously as though Lurker Industries have A Plan. It would appear that our only hope of avoiding an expensive visit to the Super Sausage Cafe is that the model somehow fails to attain the minimum flight time. Which would be a shame, but obviously less expensive...
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TheLurker
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« Reply #4 on: September 02, 2019, 04:18:18 PM »

Quote from: abl
It would appear that our only hope of avoiding an expensive visit ... fails to attain the minimum flight time.
I have just been reviewing the performance of the Company's previous aeroplanes with our test pilots and engineering staff (see the attached staff list) even with extensive use of outside consultants they barely achieved 15s. The Chairman is reported to be rather concerned about this as he really doesn't like green goo on toast.

Or ...  I think yer money's safe.  Smiley
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abl
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« Reply #5 on: September 02, 2019, 04:28:15 PM »

Sorry, Lurk - that's a bit small and I can't read it, even in expanded mode...

...although is Neville Barnes-Norway chief designer? Nothing like having the best of both worlds...
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TheLurker
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« Reply #6 on: September 02, 2019, 04:38:37 PM »

> I can't read it, even in expanded mode...
Just as well you're not the judge eh? Smiley

> ...although is Neville Barnes-Norway chief designer? Nothing like having the best of both worlds...
Norville. Second cousin thrice-removed on his mother's side.


And through the magic of Inkscape ...
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LASTWOODSMAN
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« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2019, 05:57:11 PM »

     Hi Lurker.   You made me type in "old typewriter font".   Do you really have a manual typewriter ?

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OH, I HAVE SLIPPED THE SURLY BONDS OF EARTH ... UP, UP THE LONG DELIRIOUS BURNING BLUE ... SUNWARD I'VE CLIMBED AND JOINED THE TUMBLING MIRTH OF SUN-SPLIT CLOUDS ...
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« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2019, 08:19:57 PM »


Appendix (b) – On The Awfulness of Avocado
If human beings were intended to eat sloppy green goo tasting of not very much at all we would not have been given teeth or taste-buds.  Dreadful, dreadful stuff.  An abomination.  Readers are referred to the attached picture of Green Goo on Toast.



You've obviously never had a a properly grown and sun ripened Avocado like I used to have in Africa. So delicious! The horrible, watery and hard little green things offered in this country as 'ripe 'n ready' do the greatness of the Avocado no justice. The first things I do when I go back are get some avo, cheddar and pinotage.
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TheLurker
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« Reply #9 on: September 03, 2019, 01:13:21 AM »

Quote from: LASTWOODSMAN
Hi Lurker.   You made me type in "old typewriter font".   Do you really have a manual typewriter ?

Lurker Industries has found that the most effective way to reduce stationery costs and to effect a great saving in the wages bill for clerical staff is to have managerial and other administrative staff do their own typing on one of the company's pool typewriters.  It encourages them to think very carefully about whether or not the memorandum or other bit of bumf being considered is really necessary.

Or.... nah.  I used the "Rough Typewriter" typeface in Open Office Writer and pushed the doc. through PDF to SVG to PNG.  Yes I was bored when I did it. Smiley

Got rid of my portable typewriter, little East German job, brand was "Erika" IIRC, 10 or so years back.  I hadn't used it in the previous decade.

Quote from: Monz
...The first things I do when I go back are get some avo, cheddar and pinotage.
Well we can agree on the cheese and the wine, so two out of three ain't bad. Smiley
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Graham Banham
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« Reply #10 on: September 03, 2019, 02:39:39 AM »

I appreciate the full industrial might of Lurker Industries is behind this project, but i can’t help but think that this one would be a better alternative at 25” span? Dave Cowell / Aerowerkes does some lovely Comet repro kits.......
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abl
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« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2019, 02:49:19 AM »


...

I have just been reviewing the performance of the Company's previous aeroplanes with our test pilots and engineering staff (see the attached staff list) even with extensive use of outside consultants they barely achieved 15s.
...


Wait a minute, wait a minute! You have Bertie Wooster as a test pilot?...
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abl
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Andy Blackburn



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« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2019, 02:57:34 AM »

I appreciate the full industrial might of Lurker Industries is behind this project, but i can’t help but think that this one would be a better alternative at 25” span? Dave Cowell / Aerowerkes does some lovely Comet repro kits.......

Lurk has already bought the kit, though (I've seen it). Wish I knew what his deviously detailed plan is, though - perhaps it's time to approach some of the members of staff to see if anyone is prepared to spill the beans.

When this was first discussed the reference was one of the Keil Kraft free flight scale kits that we used to buy in the 1970s with pocket money; it was obvious that the german models in particular were miles out (no idea what Albert E Hatful was using as his scale reference, a very early version of "Aircraft of the Fighting Powers", probably), but we were not very practiced in outline comparison in those days and in any case couldn't afford any scale drawings, so had nothing reliable to compare with.
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FreeFlightModeller
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« Reply #13 on: September 03, 2019, 05:44:25 AM »

My friend Stephen Fry, is puzzled.
You say that your second post is more serious, albeit it slightly.
Does this mean that you are still purposely pursuing penalty points ..... or was the purpose of posting your premier post to be purposely provocative?
Please clarify your position re. Penalty point pursuance.
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TheLurker
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« Reply #14 on: September 03, 2019, 06:07:54 AM »

Will explain when not at work.
Lurk.
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« Reply #15 on: September 03, 2019, 06:09:46 AM »

Understandable ... and reminds me that I should already be at work!
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Pete Fardell
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« Reply #16 on: September 03, 2019, 07:34:35 AM »

Sorry, are you saying directing Lurker Industries is not even your real job?!!
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TheLurker
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« Reply #17 on: September 03, 2019, 12:44:28 PM »

Quote from: FreeFlightModeller
Please clarify your position re. Penalty point pursuance.
A long time ago in a sports hall far, far away ....  the subject of a counter-challenge to the "Out of the Box Build" was raised and Abl thought it would be fun, for whom I am not sure, to go the other extreme and polish the kit/plan as much as possible pulling in all sorts of extras and from that arose the idea of an "anti kit scale" competition. So yes, the aim is to make the model as much like the prototype as my limited skill will allow and deviations from the kit/plan that make it look better are "rewarded" by the amassing of penalty points.  The rest of the nonsense in my opening post was just for giggles*, mine mostly, but I did hope it would make at least some of the parish smile.

Sorry, are you saying directing Lurker Industries is not even your real job?!!
Of course it's my real job.  Who could want a finer one?  I just do the other to help out and to make life more interesting.

Quote from: Graham Banham
Dave Cowell / Aerowerkes does some lovely Comet repro kits.......
Aye, but part of this game is taking a kit/plan that's not such a star and doing my best to make it better.

Quote from: abl
Wait a minute, wait a minute! You have Bertie Wooster as a test pilot?...
Indeed, but they don't give out the DFC nor a bar to it for horseplay at Drones.  Even chaps like Bertie grow up you know.  It is true he made a bit of a bish of some of the Horsa's landings but Mr. Barnes-Norway has to shoulder at least part of the blame for giving him such an awkward craft to deal with.

*Except the bit about the food, that's deadly serious.  If I make a horlicks of this I will have to eat green goo on toast.  *shudder*
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billdennis747
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« Reply #18 on: September 03, 2019, 01:08:14 PM »

thought it would be fun, for whom I am not sure, to go the other extreme and polish the kit/plan as much as possible pulling in all sorts of extras and from that arose the idea of an "anti kit scale" competition.
I haven´t taken much notice of this, having been preoccupied with the ruination of outdoor FF scale, but I like the idea. Will there be a prize for last? On the rare occasions I enter KS I have made half hearted attempts to come last, mainly through the utilisation of paint, but this has captured my imagination. A stsrting point might be to take a rotten kit (Pete´s Puss Moth?) -  the rottener the better (definitely Pete´s PM) -  and correct all the outlines., add more ribs. In fact build an Open Rubber Puss Moth  and enter it along with the rotten kit plan.
I´m on a roll, let me at it...
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Pete Fardell
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« Reply #19 on: September 03, 2019, 01:28:49 PM »

Couple of queries... Will you be allowed to draw the judges’ attention to all your transgressions to ensure they don’t miss any? Also, to get the full perversity value of your self imposed rules should you have to keep all the things that are normally exempt from penalties? Eg. original peg position, kit wheels and prop.
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« Reply #20 on: September 03, 2019, 01:34:23 PM »

         Hi Lurker.   I'm thinking of expanding my food experience.  In your opening post, two pics at the end, the first one with the Super Sausage Cafe breakfast with the egg -  it looks like a pretty hearty breakfast.   Is the Sausage what is called a "Banger"?   And what is that black burned up offering  Shocked  that is not reflecting any light ?   Huh   Is that the famed "Haggis" ? (a Scottish dish consisting of a sheep's or calf's offal mixed with suet, oatmeal, and seasoning and boiled in a bag, traditionally one made from the animal's stomach.)

Pic of Haggis

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Richard
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« Reply #21 on: September 03, 2019, 02:27:53 PM »

Couple of queries... Will you be allowed to draw the judges’ attention to all your transgressions to ensure they don’t miss any?

There's nothing in the rules that says Lurk can't do that. Equally, there's nothing in the rules that says that some well-meaning individual (modesty forbids, etc..) can't protest that a particular change is not significant enough to merit the award of penalty points. The final decision will rest with His Honour The Judge, of course.

Also, to get the full perversity value of your self imposed rules should you have to keep all the things that are normally exempt from penalties? Eg. original peg position, kit wheels and prop.

If I might draw the Rt Hon Gentleman's attention to the rules as outlined in post #1, it can be seen that no such restrictions exist.  Smiley
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billdennis747
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« Reply #22 on: September 03, 2019, 02:34:56 PM »

In this race to the bottom, may we employ lousy workmanship too? I have found it works in the past.
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Squirrelnet
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« Reply #23 on: September 03, 2019, 03:06:22 PM »

I'm following this thread with great interest Lurk and hope you earn your Black Pudding

Quote
And what is that black burned up offering  Shocked  that is not reflecting any light ?   Huh   Is that the famed "Haggis" ? (a Scottish dish consisting of a sheep's or calf's offal mixed with suet, oatmeal, and seasoning and boiled in a bag, traditionally one made from the animal's stomach.)

Pic of Haggis

Black pudding is bit different Richard. It it a delicacy originating in the north of England made from pigs blood and oats (it is delicious) and also formed the chosen weapon for the ancient martial art of Ecky Thump... it was genuinely banned by my school when I was a lad.

To confuse you further here's a clip from youtube - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ko0U7UjP_6g
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Pete Fardell
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« Reply #24 on: September 03, 2019, 03:12:12 PM »

I do like black pudding, but haggis is an altogether classier and more tasty dish. Of course, as with all these things, there's good haggis, indifferent haggis and really good haggis.
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